Communication Wizard Pillows

"I'm afraid the turnout isn't as high as we'd hoped, three of them misheard the date; five got the time wrong and everyone from sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake!"

"She's texting me, but I think she's also subtexting me."

Bob kept missing the point and was forced to wait around for the next one.

'Well, how did he react? Was it that scowling-grunt of no way, or that raised-eyebrows-grunt of just maybe?'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

The Town Tweeter

"You hadn't texted me in twenty minutes. I was afraid you might have become paralyzed."

"Ever since he started this new job, we hardly talk anymore...!"

Clean your mobile phone screen, sir?

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"And my own cell phone would help me develop better communication skills."

"... Looks like, Grey Owl's mobile has run out of credit again."

Scottish Dialect

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Oymoticons

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Twitter censorship

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'Let us pray...'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'How fast can you hype?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

The Horn of Unanswered Email

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."