Texter Extraordinaire Gifts

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

The Bawl & Text Bar.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

The Card Flinger

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

Caravan Club shop is selling Hold-Ups.

Men and Women's changing rooms

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

'There's someone here I'd like you to meet. He's very well-connected.'

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

"Wow, you're right, Alpaca Wool is very nice against the skin..."

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

'It's the latest weave - comes off in the hand.'

Wooly mammoth

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

Bias Tape

"O.K., now can you make like a million little tiny ones?"

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'The wool is virgin - it's none of your damn business about the sheep!'

Bottom-Feeders

Suppliers of fine pin-stripe

'What's the text abbreviation for 'yippee yippee yo, yippee yay, yippee yo kai aye?'