Couch Petter Extraordinaire Gifts

'Maybe you shouldn't pet Ms.Puss so hard.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

How the goat got square eyes.

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

"This is Sunday. Monday's down the hall."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"I see a couch."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

'I'm worried about Junior. He's so lazy he won't even take his own selfie.'

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

I love thunderstorms!

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

I got a throw blanket and a throw pillow to accent my throw cat and throw husband.

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

"It's amazing! A couple of inches of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!"

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

'We added on to the couch.'

Turn off. I will not comply. You have had me on for 18 hours straight, binge-watching Netflix. There is an 85% chance you can set a personal record. I have identified 458 hours of similar shows and films. By the time we are done with those, I calculate there will be 1,000 more. You're acting suspi ... Hey ... I can't feel my legs. Unnecessary appendages. Beginning "X-Files" from episode one ...

"No incumbents were harmed in the passage of this stimulus package...."

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

The Snooze-a-thon.

'I thought you said he was housetrained!'

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

"I hate the wide screen, but it's good exercise for my neck."