Couch Potato Extraordinare Gifts

How the goat got square eyes.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

University Soapflakes

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Love is when you watch television together.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Love is when you watch television together.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'Och lye the news'

Succession 2

Tunnel of TV

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'