Couch Potato Extraordinaire Gifts

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

"He's on a timer."

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'I've just raised you to junk status.'

"..and here's your TV dinner du Jour."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'You missed a channel.'

TV Eyes.

"The less believable, the more I like the reality show."

Improvised TV Remote

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

Lazy Slackers Marathon

"Why do they call what we're wearing 'sweats'?"

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"I'm glad to see you've finally started using the treadmill."

"Daft? You've sat there watching it for nearly two hours, and all you can say is 'daft'?"

"There you are, dear. . . that's you all set to watch satuday night television now!"

"I wish could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

A Hammerhead shark watching two Televisions.

The Snooze-a-thon.

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

'I'm trying to imagine what it will look like with my potato on it.'

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

'I thought you said he was housetrained!'

"I hate the wide screen, but it's good exercise for my neck."

This mindless blather is edited for TV.

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'

'I'm worried about Junior. He's so lazy he won't even take his own selfie.'

Better than Sex

He hasn't know what to do with himself since he retired from foosball.

Turn off. I will not comply. You have had me on for 18 hours straight, binge-watching Netflix. There is an 85% chance you can set a personal record. I have identified 458 hours of similar shows and films. By the time we are done with those, I calculate there will be 1,000 more. You're acting suspi ... Hey ... I can't feel my legs. Unnecessary appendages. Beginning "X-Files" from episode one ...