Couch Potato Appreciation Gifts

"Howard's like his old lawnmower when it comes to spring cleaning - he's hard to start, not too sharp, and backfires a lot."

"When I first met him, he wanted to change the world for me. Now, I'm lucky if I can get him to change his underpants."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'He does lack social skills.'

American Idle.

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Love is when you watch television together.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

'Och lye the news'