Couch Potato Enthusiasts Gifts

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'He keeps calling out another woman's name in his sleep. I live in hope that one day he'll run off with her.'

In danger? Facing disaster? Looks like this isn't a job for... Not-My-Problem Man.

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"We're binging - but it's different shows."

"He's an energy tax credit."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"I'm married to a control freak!"

"Where can we get such a thing? We would lie on the couch all day and watch cartoons about cats."

'Yes, I would like you to move your feet. I'd like you to move them to the Jobcentre and get a job!'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"It's not a night scope view of anything, I think our picture tube just blew."

'Mom, Dad's broken, again.'

'The pigs can't move, they just lie there... it's awful.'

"OK, I never look at you anymore, but I can see you perfectly in my peripheral vision."

"Five thousand hours, and his vital signs are still strong."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

American Idle.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'