Couch Potato Enthusiasts Gifts

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'He keeps calling out another woman's name in his sleep. I live in hope that one day he'll run off with her.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"We're binging - but it's different shows."

"He's an energy tax credit."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"I'm married to a control freak!"

"Where can we get such a thing? We would lie on the couch all day and watch cartoons about cats."

'Yes, I would like you to move your feet. I'd like you to move them to the Jobcentre and get a job!'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"It's not a night scope view of anything, I think our picture tube just blew."

"OK, I never look at you anymore, but I can see you perfectly in my peripheral vision."

"Five thousand hours, and his vital signs are still strong."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Love is when you watch television together.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'