String Extraordinaire Gifts

"Nobody ever complains about the tom-cats."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

I drive, therefore I am.

"Don't forget to click 'Reply All.'"

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

The Cello Victims

Cello Composer

That's my son

Never marry the girl next door: 'I know you better than you know yourself!'

My other viola is a Stradivari.

"As far as I'm concerned, gentlemen, this marks the end of the Schwarzwalder String Quartet."

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

'Michael?! Where's Michael?'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

'I think that we can safely assume Mr Jones is on the mend, Matron.'

"I know what's going on here - you just want to enrich my microbiome."

"Excuse me, do you realise you're wearing an extravagant cut in an executive cut zone?"

Violinist

Classical Customer Information - "How long is a piece of string quartet?"

Fading eyesight was to have its advantages.

Playing the Cello at Christmas.

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

Musical Suicide.

"It's his new hobby, string theory."

The Bawl & Text Bar.

Victor Herbert

'Could I check my email?'

"Maybe you're overdoing the scarf thing."