Email Extraordinaire Gifts

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

'Could I check my email?'

"Don't forget to click 'Reply All.'"

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

I drive, therefore I am.

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"There's nothing wrong with her. With e-mail, texting and tweeting, she just hasn't needed to learn to talk."

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

Proof of Being Human

In and out, in and out, in and out...

Weather prediction is guesswork.

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"It's confusing, son, but I'll try to explain: A nerd is a dork who's headed for college. A wonk is a nerd with one or more Ph.D.s. And then there' s the Uber-Wonk, like Daddy, who gets interviewed on TV all the time!"

'Are you crazy? -- You can't spam SANTA!'

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

'I think that we can safely assume Mr Jones is on the mend, Matron.'

Fading eyesight was to have its advantages.

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'

Sawing the PC in half.

'Hope you don't mind...because it's the holiday season, I've written 'Happy New Year' where the amount should be.'

'Your report is totally without merit. Add a color cover and some clip art then resumit it.'

The paperless office.