Predictor Extraordinaire Gifts

Weather prediction is guesswork.

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"Don't forget to click 'Reply All.'"

Stimulus bust

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

'I'm looking for a short synopsis of the future in digital format.'

Air catarrh.

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

The Little Top.

"Having conducted a thorough analysis of the data it appears clear that profits will go either up, or down, unless of course they stay the same."

Hello National Rail Enquiries.. mystic meg speaking.."

Nostrildamus.

"Economists, and these days we're missing more and more of the poor souls."

Nostradamus's secret is almost exposed.

"Of course, this prediction has a plus or minus margin of error of 80% or 90%."

"Of course I'm good at predicting the future. That's why I invested in a desktop."

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

I'd like you to meet my parents. They're always complaining that I'm too picky about the men I date.

"Remember – Dad's 50th is in 2026... Have you gotten him a card yet?"

Next week's hindsight today - The future is now next week.

'And this is Fred, our Senior Strategic Planner. He sees around corners most of us don't even know are there!'

"OK...your payment plan is all set up. Your check is due the first of each month."

Date Control

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'

'This is McWit. He's responsible for our really complex spreadsheets.'