Text Traveler Gifts

Entrance/Exit

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

The Map of the human brain

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Moo Out Loud

Off to see the world

Vaccination Passport

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

WTF?

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Birds with Headphones

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

Virtual Beach

'I see you both texted that you never talk.'

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

OMG.

IMHOtep

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

'Anything to declare?'

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

"You'll get over him."

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.