Test Trooper Gifts

"I'll be grading your tests tonight, so I suggest you send me home in a good mood."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

Good Luck in your Exams.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

'We better get him out of there! His heart rate and blood pressure are nearing last minute wine-shopper levels!'

"Don't let this one take any cars out for a test-drive!"

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

Fast Track

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

Don't you hate finding out that the kid you copied those test answers from is even dumber than you are.

'If she switches to essay tests none of us will ever be the same.'

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

'Are you nodding in agreement, or falling asleep?'

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

Astronomical observations.

Wall.

'It doesn't work...'

The phrase "pushing the envelop" came into common usage after Tom Wolfe used it in his book "The Right Stuff." We was describing test pilots with exceptional courage who were expanding the limits of flight. Ernie wants to become a test pilot and people ask me if he has the right stuff. Unfortunately, his level of courage can best be described by saying ... Ernie is unable to push the envelope because he's terrified of getting a paper-cut!

'-and who's next?'

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

Super Bowl Monday