Test-marketing Enthusiast Gifts

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'I really crammed last night.'

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'It's about time!'

London Olympics.

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

'It's like I told you, Grog, content is king.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"Our social media statistics show us that people don't want our product. The want videos of cats."

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

"And to all who wondered how we could possibly top our Cup a' Junk, I give you Bucket a' Junk!"

'Now that's what I call merchandising!'

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

Why Mr T's Information Technology Company Failed

'Well we could either make a massive investment in a new multi-media marketing campaign Or we could ask Edna to stop telling current customers to sod off because she's too busy to talk to them!'

Three cheers for advertising.

'Great ad campaign. Now all we need is a product.'

Festive aspirin for the holidays: 'They're red and green!'

'Mind dropping us off at Lords,old chap?'

"Well, I have some good news and some lab results."

Telesales - "Good evening, could I speak to the dog of the house?"

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

"Do you use the Internet, mate?"

Niche marketing: House of crap - Sale - 50% off.