Test-marketing Enthusiast Gifts

'Hmm... He is remarkably dumb! He would be perfect for our new test-marketing position!'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'I really crammed last night.'

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'It's about time!'

London Olympics.

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'It's like I told you, Grog, content is king.'

"Our social media statistics show us that people don't want our product. The want videos of cats."

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'Now that's what I call merchandising!'

Maybe I'm just a sucker for marketing, but I think bottled pond scum water really does taste better.

"And to all who wondered how we could possibly top our Cup a' Junk, I give you Bucket a' Junk!"

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

Why Mr T's Information Technology Company Failed

'Well we could either make a massive investment in a new multi-media marketing campaign Or we could ask Edna to stop telling current customers to sod off because she's too busy to talk to them!'

'Great ad campaign. Now all we need is a product.'

Festive aspirin for the holidays: 'They're red and green!'

"Well, I have some good news and some lab results."

'Mind dropping us off at Lords,old chap?'

Three cheers for advertising.

Telesales - "Good evening, could I speak to the dog of the house?"

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

"Do you use the Internet, mate?"