Test Developer Gifts

"After 20 years of schooling, you're skilled at just one thing, taking tests"

Lincoln Standardized Test Center. Formerly Lincoln High School.

School. I hope there's a lot of job openings that involve filling-in bubbles with number 2 pencils.

"Smart Arse"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Ethics exam cheater.

The Computer Bore

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Bright idea

Back to work...

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Friday

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"I need a simple fix. No one asked you to reinvent the wheel."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."