Territory Conqueror T-Shirts

"It's dangerous territory you're taking on, Adams. Our legal people are drafting your will for you as a precaution..."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

Second lifeReal life.

"I love fast break business success."

The Devil's in the detail!

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

IRS tax instructions.

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

Spring, 1998: The world of sports is paralyzed by an equipment managers' strike.

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"Damn the Germans got here first!"

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Rafael Nadal

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

You gave performance enhancing drugs to the girls on the Team Caffeine Hoops Squad?! Mumble. How could you do that? How could you use artificial substances to make them stronger, faster and better athletes? How could you not give me any of the juice? And thus, driven by competitive zeal, society spun out of control. P.S. - To be continued. Next week: A shocking secret!

NBA Vampire

"I just acquired absolute power and you've had it for quite a while now, so tell me... When does the absolute corruption start kicking in?"

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

Tandem Mountain Bike/Gnarly Stump.

Kid rage.

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."