Terra-firma Tamers Pillows

"You've never planted a garden before, have you?"

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Multi-tasking.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Toys in the DVD Player.

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Need an elevated state of mind too!

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Timber preservation

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'Storm'

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

When a nanosecond is forever.

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

Golf Hil Divot

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

An astronaut dowses on the moon.

'He micromanages all our trades.'

In box, out box, and way out desk organizer.