Tentacle Palmistry Gifts

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Pie Filling Reader

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"Gas, is it the future?"

Amateur Palmist

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Octopi a la mode.

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

'That line means good managerial skills!'

Your Palm

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'Someone must have stolen your identity. Your fingerprints are missing.'

Palm Reading

Palm Reader...

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

"You like people and people respond to that."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'