Tentacle Palmistry Pillows

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Pie Filling Reader

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"Gas, is it the future?"

Amateur Palmist

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

Your Palm

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

Palm Reading

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

Palm Reader...

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

'Someone must have stolen your identity. Your fingerprints are missing.'

'That line means good managerial skills!'

"You like people and people respond to that."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'