Tentacle Enthusiasts Gifts

"How weird is it?"

Glastonbury. After.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'We're very tight on space right now but we'll have you in an office as soon as we can. Meanwhile...'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Tortoise polishing his shell

Please excuse him, he's intent.

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

"Hey, no kidding! I prefer slow dancing, too!"

Turtle Home

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"My doctor told me to get more exercise by walking a pet, but he didn't specify it had to be a dog."

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'