Tennis Troublemaker Gifts

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.

Playpen Jailbreak.