Tennis Troublemaker Gifts

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Don't look at me!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"He said his screen is frozen again."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.