Troublemaker In Training Gifts

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'Be careful, Vanessa, I think she's looking for trouble!'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'Dad, before I tell you what happened, how much does a piece of glass nine feet by twelve feet cost?'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.

'I had to get a new imaginary friend. The last one was getting me into too much trouble.'

"I told you not to write in that wet cement!"

Tainted occupations recommended for school bully.

J G Farrell

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

"I'm up to my neck in trouble, aren't I?"

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels