Training Troublemaker Gifts

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Don't look at me!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'You're fired. The test results came back and you tested positive for crack.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'Be careful, Vanessa, I think she's looking for trouble!'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

'Dad, before I tell you what happened, how much does a piece of glass nine feet by twelve feet cost?'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.