Little Troublemaker Gifts

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"-Not hungry? Perhaps something to throw at mummy and daddy?"

A young Don King

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Don't look at me!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"He said his screen is frozen again."

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

Gangster Babies

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'