Brilliant Troublemaker Gifts

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Don't look at me!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'Be careful, Vanessa, I think she's looking for trouble!'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.