Tenant Advocate Gifts

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

'Damp? The bath's got a ring round its OUTSIDE!'

'Maintenance' first then 'Rent increase' on apartment blocks

So Your Landlord Is Trying to Evict You

"I've been evicted."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"I rented out the basement."

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Home Sweet Sign

Homeless count.

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

House hunting is cruel.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

Crazy Straw. Crazy Straw after therapy

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

'I saw a Miniature Dachshund today. NICE dog for a city apartment.'

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

"Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and mopper-upper guy."

"We need to be careful."

"Well, I think you're wonderful."

Turtle Eviction

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'