Temptation Teetotaler Pillows

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

To do before Saturday...

Secretive Weigh In.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'New Barbeque.'

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'It's tough doing what's right when you see what's left.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"You talkin' to me?"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

"I'm starting a new diet today. Let's go out for ice cream to celebrate."

Self Service, Self Denial

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

'Ohhh,a test of willpower eh?? YOU'RE ON!!'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

"I found a diet website where everything is made out of chocolate and ice cream."

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."