Tempo Maestro Gifts

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

A woman playing a keyboard

'A few messages came in during your lunch break.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Bad times to sneeze

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

Computer Music

'It's another office memo from that Mr. Tolstoy.'

'Overwhelm the facts with interpretation and have it on my desk Thursday.'

"I'm leaving you. I would have told you earlier but the time just never seemed right."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Catering for a large family.

Track runner running out of track

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

"But this way I know where everything is."

"It's cooties."

'I've had enough of these everlasting arguments - I say you're late!'

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"So typical. Hurry up and wait."

Two boys rehearsing,

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

'Of course I would have preferred to be a music prodigy...'

"You've probably already guessed, ...I'm the bluebird of sloppiness."

'Got a quarter?'

'I'm waiting until someone develops a Weapon of Mess Destruction.'