Temper Tantrum Humorist Gifts

Sore Loser

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"What do you recommend for someone recovering from a tantrum?"

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

'Albert Figgis gets board backing.'

"...but how do we know he's the peeping tom sarge?"

'You used foul and offensive language when addressing your computer. Well....we've all done that.'

"You're really mad over something so small. You need to do something to release that pent-up anger."

History Of Fire

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

'Call me 'spot' one more time and I'll tear your frickin' throat out!'

'...And here, on line 27, where you say 'Beam me up, Scotty'....'

"You are completely sane, but I think I can cure you."

'I had to confiscate the rubber band gun I made for Max. Now he won't speak to me. . .for a little guy he's got a huge cold shoulder.'

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."

Errands: the Magazine for the Errands Life Style

Hotline.

'Other women get hot flashes -- My wife has temperature tantrums.'

"Post traumatic stress disorder."

How to spot the early signs of Book Fair meeting meltdown.

Cash machine having a nervous breakdown

'He's a bit busy at the moment - Chillaxing.'

"Every time I got frustrated with my computer, I would slam on the keyboard. This time the keyboard fought back."

'I don't mind the obscene phone calls. But I object to them reversing the charges.'