Telly Teaser Gifts

'Are you enjoying watching the telly off, on demand?'

Snowprov

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'and to think I never used to believe all that stuff about women drivers!'

'I'm sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but I suspect he's the one tempting me.'

"The media is always being criticised for criticising social worker..."

'Okay, I'm sorry I called you a cheeky monkey. Now, stop moaning and eat your banana!'

'He calls me lambchop and I call him muttonhead.'

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

Green Pieces 90% Air

'HA! Look, Dad! My hair is so thick I've got my comb stuck in it ...again.'

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

'Darling, that memory course I've been doing, can you remember its web address.'

'Mom! Betty lou called me a 'TWIRP' 'You are a twirp!'

Fragrans Tortuosa

I couldn't find my other wig

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."

'If I hit the apple, we call it archery. If I hit the guy, we call it acupuncture.'

"The trailer didn't live up to the teaser."

'He's completely wrapped up in himself.'

Increase your IQ with an 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt.

Car towing boat driving over bridge. Boat towing car riding under bridge.

"My uncle's got a wooden leg..."