Telly Teaser Pillows

'Are you enjoying watching the telly off, on demand?'

Snowprov

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'Okay, I'm sorry I called you a cheeky monkey. Now, stop moaning and eat your banana!'

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

'He calls me lambchop and I call him muttonhead.'

"The media is always being criticised for criticising social worker..."

'and to think I never used to believe all that stuff about women drivers!'

'I'm sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but I suspect he's the one tempting me.'

'Darling, that memory course I've been doing, can you remember its web address.'

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

'HA! Look, Dad! My hair is so thick I've got my comb stuck in it ...again.'

Green Pieces 90% Air

'Mom! Betty lou called me a 'TWIRP' 'You are a twirp!'

Fragrans Tortuosa

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."

'If I hit the apple, we call it archery. If I hit the guy, we call it acupuncture.'

"The trailer didn't live up to the teaser."

'He's completely wrapped up in himself.'

"My uncle's got a wooden leg..."

Increase your IQ with an 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt.

Car towing boat driving over bridge. Boat towing car riding under bridge.

Women in doughnut shop - 'Get down! It's someone from our exercise fitness class!'