Television Teaser Pillows

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

Snowprov

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

"I'm giving up giving up!"

"The media is always being criticised for criticising social worker..."

'and to think I never used to believe all that stuff about women drivers!'

'Okay, I'm sorry I called you a cheeky monkey. Now, stop moaning and eat your banana!'

'I'm sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but I suspect he's the one tempting me.'

'He calls me lambchop and I call him muttonhead.'

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

"Is it too late for me to go back to the old ladies bike basket?"

'HA! Look, Dad! My hair is so thick I've got my comb stuck in it ...again.'

Green Pieces 90% Air

'Darling, that memory course I've been doing, can you remember its web address.'

'Mom! Betty lou called me a 'TWIRP' 'You are a twirp!'

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

Fragrans Tortuosa

I couldn't find my other wig

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."

'If I hit the apple, we call it archery. If I hit the guy, we call it acupuncture.'

'He's completely wrapped up in himself.'

Car towing boat driving over bridge. Boat towing car riding under bridge.

Increase your IQ with an 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt.

"My uncle's got a wooden leg..."