Tabloid Teaser Gifts

"The media is always being criticised for criticising social worker..."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

JET (Part I)

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'Inflated gloom!'

Welcome to celebrity hell.

"And she's an interesting conversationalist, too."

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

Sally Jessy Raphael

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

'Sleaze, please.'

Showbiz is tough

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

Invasion of Privacy

Daily Mail Reader

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

'Aren't you glad you're a nobody and not a big-shot with the press picking on you all the time?'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

The Gutter Press.