Trial Teaser Gifts

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

"Smile if you're guilty!"

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play!'

'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.'

'Perhaps you would like to rephrase your last answer.'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

'Your Honor, do we need the jury judging my performance?'

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

'Jury foreman, I'm going to assume that you've reached a verdict.'

'... And you'll be pleased to learn that my fees are reassuringly expensive.'

"This case poses a very difficult choice... I know, coin toss!"

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'Thirty days or thirty dollars? -- Let's see the money first!'

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

'We the jury find the defendant guilty on the first count, kinda sorta guilty on the second, and guilty as hell on the third.'

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'Okay, I'm sorry I called you a cheeky monkey. Now, stop moaning and eat your banana!'

"My client asks that another 8,639 micro-aggressions be taken into consideration."

CRIMINAL COURT, 'Don't you just HATE it when they show no emotion?'

'He calls me lambchop and I call him muttonhead.'

"Am I to assume that your client will be submitting an insanity plea?"

"The media is always being criticised for criticising social worker..."