Television Personalities Gifts

'I knew it was a mistake for Parkie to come.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

Joan Hickson

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

A little bird told me...

The americanisation of vulture.

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Stephen Fry

Little Red Riding Carpet

Local News in Heaven

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Reporter #6: television.

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

Presenter Auditions.

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...