Reality Tv Personality Gifts

The woke Shore Stores opens for the summer with all-new merch

Simon Cowell

'You are a disgrace to the celebrity profession. I sentence you to three years in reality TV shows.'

Then: 'He wrote the great American novel!' Now: 'He was on 'The Survivor' show!'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Joan Hickson

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

Will work for Food Network.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

Chris O'Dowd

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Ian Hislop

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

Barry Norman

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Kenneth Clark