Reality Show Contestant Gifts

Emergency Exit

"This is Channel Five's 10,000 BC – Two Tribes in which we strip a group of people of all modern conveniences and dump them in a forest."

'Congratulations on reaching the grand final, how does it feel to be the biggest loser of all time?'

'Welcome to the new reality show. Who's the real-life whistle-blower?'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

"Am I through to the next round?"

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

TV-Mirror.

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

The changing times of 'fame'.

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

Distancing with the Stars

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

Man watching television show, 'Are You Lower Than The Lowest Common Denominator'?

Live water cooler.

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

Celebrity Shark Attack.

"This isn't a reality show. . . it's the news."