Television Presenters Gifts

"We know some people who tell lies...weather forecasters!!"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Joan Hickson

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Stephen Fry

Fishermen

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Next camera crew 5 mins

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Reporter #6: television.

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Presentation skills.

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'