Television-loving Friend Gifts

Dehydrated women calling for her soap operas

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

TV jester.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Solar Panel

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

100 best beheadings

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'