Television Lovers Gifts

"I first felt truly Jewish when I saw Ozzie and Harriet on television."

'Turn up the volume. I can't hear a damn thing.'

"Bless you."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Einsteiners.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

TV-Man

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

TV jester.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

Make your resolutions achievable.

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Solar Panel

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'