Television Industry Gifts

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"The following program was made possible by the usual suspects...."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Horror movies

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"And this is our media room."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."