Television Gourmet T-Shirts

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Cookbooks

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

French wine