Television Buffs Gifts

Kids watching TV - 'They watch television all the time now that junk food adverts have been banned'.

Books versus TV.

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

He told me I couldn't sit on the couch anymore, so I buried the remote in the backyard.

'A humanitarian war? -- Now, why didn't I think of that?'

Martin Clunes

'Don't look now, but your Adam and Eve Show just had a spinoff.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

TV jester.

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

TV-Man

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'