Television Buffs Gifts

Kids watching TV - 'They watch television all the time now that junk food adverts have been banned'.

Books versus TV.

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'A humanitarian war? -- Now, why didn't I think of that?'

'Don't look now, but your Adam and Eve Show just had a spinoff.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Television Readers.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

TV-Man

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

TV jester.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''