Television Announcer Pillows

'Before I leave, I'd like everyone to know I wear a toupee.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Stephen Fry

Local News in Heaven

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Reporter #6: television.

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

Presenter Auditions.

Sports Radio in Crisis

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

John Stride

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Pundits

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

Jerry Springer

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

James May

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"