Station Announcer Pillows

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Great! You're hired."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Non Thought For The Day.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

Presenter Auditions.

Sports Radio in Crisis

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Clive Anderson

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

Communication

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

'My dad's a soccer announcer.'

'Occassional cards'

Sue Perkins

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Rule Britannia!

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

Terry Wogan

Annoucement

London Town Crier