Public Service Announcer Pillows

This is your brain on drugs.

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Presenter Auditions.

Sports Radio in Crisis

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

Communication

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

Annoucement

'It'll deliver more and better services at a lower cost -- it's Giant Economy Size Government!'

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

'Thou shalt worship the one true God, although at this moment, I'm obliged to point out that other Gods are available...'

"This spells out the council's decision - in easy to read emoticons."

'He made a mistake, lynch him!'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

"Would the owner of the dead plants and the embarrassingly juvenile trinkets please return to your cubicle - you've left your desk lamp on."

National Health Service

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

" 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe fifty basis points."

"Great! You're hired."