Public Address System Announcer Pillows

"For God's sake, Felton, would you stop with that 'He-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ere's So-and-So'?"

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Presenter Auditions.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

Sports Radio in Crisis

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

Communication

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

Good morning and welcome to National Public Radio, you bloated capitalist swine!

Annoucement

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

'Thou shalt worship the one true God, although at this moment, I'm obliged to point out that other Gods are available...'

'Yes, we're having another fund raiser but, please don't give! Who cares if honest intelligent radio goes silent forever?'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

"Would the owner of the dead plants and the embarrassingly juvenile trinkets please return to your cubicle - you've left your desk lamp on."

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Moments later, everyone would think Khrushchev was a kook.

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

"Great! You're hired."

" 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe fifty basis points."