Telesales Professional Gifts

'If you now feel like punching someone in the face. . . press five!'

'Hello, how can I offend you?'

Call Center.

'I'm sorry, my mom has told me not to talk to strangers.'

"It's Kevin from kumficare fitted wigwams"

'It certainly sounds like a fantastic offer, but I'm not supposed to answer the phone.'

Fun at the Office #563: THE DAY THE TELEPHONES EXPLODED

'Has he been on the phone all morning? No, he stopped an hour ago to change ears.'

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

'Just stick to the script, Ravi...'

'Always try to stop talking before people stop listening.'

"The next service agent will be available for you shortly. If you tell us your address we can bring you hot soup and some tea while you're waiting."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

The Salesman

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Dog eat dog.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

Data From a Truck

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'