Telesales Humorist Gifts

'Come quick, Watson - we may have won some FREE dance lessons!'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Screen Time vs Book Time

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

Chef copy robot

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

'It's a snow mobile.'

Champagne at the hunt

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

"I worked on an early version of the Cloud. I call it the Fog because it never got off the ground."

'I have a photographic memory but the images are really low resolution.'

'zzz sleep.'

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.