Telemarketing Humorists Gifts

"Faked by a snake selling rakes."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'Can you do anything else?'

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

Super and Super Duper Vitamins.

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

Experience the regional flavors of 2163 Pigeonhole Lane.

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

Ahab's Last Call.

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

"Thank you for calling customer service. Before we start, am I mispronouncing your name correctly?"

Do I have a time to take a quick survey?

'Hello, you're through to the swine flu advice line. How can I help you?'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

'This call may be ignored for sanity assurance.'

"OMG! You're still there! I'm going to have to out you on hold again while I figure out another way to get rid of you."

'My Mom was a call girl - and retired after 20 years at the phone company.'

"I'm sorry, you're very faint. Could you pant a bit louder please?"

"You're going to put me on hold? OK, I'm not going anywhere."

'Please stay on the line -- Your call is very important to us.... important to us.... important to us.... important to us....'

"Press 8 to be put on hold for what seems like forever...press 9 to phone back tomorrow."

'Your call is very important to us, unless you're an IMPOSTOR.'