Telephonist Gifts

Bird's telephone exchange - Early Bird Wormcatchers, inc

'Hello, you are through to the Marine Circus. Please note that calls may be recorded for training porpoises.'

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, confusion, prevarication and hindrance..."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

Data From a Truck

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Networking

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

'It's engaged.'

"We've induced the stem cells to grow into a fully functional, organically embedded communication device. We're calling it a 'cell phone'."

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"You get the feeling that it's trying to communicate with us."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Welcome to the rat race.'

'I'm getting tired of these huge phone bills.'

Come to think of it...I could do with a showcase kitchen as it goes...

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

Alexander Graham Bell sends the first text/sext message to Watson that says 'Mr. Waston, Come here. STOP. I want to see you. STOP. What are you wearing? STOP'

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

Hello Arthur "Just checking to see that the fax got through O.K."

Little Known Scenes From History: Alexander Graham Bell in prison inventing the phone so he can make his one call after being arrested.